To Hold You One Last Time
by prolixius5
Summary: Trapped under his car down in a ravine, Hutch can't do anything else but wait for the end... and remember. Related to "Survival". Oneshot. Complete. Thanks to you all for reading this one and for your comments.


**To Hold You one Last Time  
**

_Relates to episode "Survival". What could have gone through Hutch's mind while he was trapped under his car and waiting for an end to come? This is my modest attempt to describe it._

_Disclaimer: I do not own the Blond Blintz nor Curly. Only the feeling of being rescued..._

_Thanks AB, for the BR, great job and useful comments :-)_

_I'd love to read your reviews, they are much appreciated, as always. Thanks!_

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I wish I could hold you one last time. Just once, before I go.

I never thought I'd face this alone. You and I have been through so much together, side by side, almost hand in hand. Arms in arms, for sure. On so many occasions, that I have given up counting them. I'm too tired now. My mind is beginning to wander. I've been lying here in the sun for too long.

There was a man here a while ago. Or have I been dreaming? Am I losing it?

I tried to grab my gun, but it was out of reach... It's not even there anymore. Where has it gone? I tried to call for help My voice has gone too. The radio is out. I'm just lying here. Waiting for... For what? Nothing. My mouth is so dry. Dust in my eyes. It looks like I'm gonna die here. Alone.

I am not even sure what happened. How did I end up in this desert? ... Oh yes, the truck. The truck pushed my car over the edge, I lost control... OK, _that_, I remember now.

Gee, I wish you were here! You' d surely find a way to set me free. And I would end up in your arms, in a comforting embrace and I would hear your voice telling me "_Hey, we made it, Partner_."

My jaw hurts. I have no memory of having been hit, yet I can feel the bruise. And my hand. I can feel a little band aid on a finger.

The worst pain right now is in my leg. As if it's totally crushed under this damn car. I'm not even sure there is a leg anymore. I can't move! All I can do is to close my eyes and try to remember you face or stare at the sky. And remember...

I can hear the echo of your voice in my head, when we were together, when we used to beat the odds. I remember you holding me close when I was going through hell to get rid of the heroin. I felt safe, just like a child in his mother's arms after falling and hurting his knee. But it was not my knee that was hurt that day. It was my will to quit on the fix. That day, you pulled me out of my madness.

Your embrace was always my last refuge, as it was the day Gillian was killed. I am so sorry I hit you then. How precious your reaction as you held me even tighter! I felt like I was holding onto a life jacket.

And then, there were times when you fell down, and I picked you up. But yet, I still had the feeling like it was _you_ trying to comfort me. Like the day on that building roof, when you shot the bad guy who almost blew me away. He was the only one able to lead me to a cure to the poison in your veins. "_It seemed like a good idea at the time_" you said. I was holding you, yet _you _were reassuring me.

Or the night I almost lost you in that restaurant. You were hurt. I was mad. You made it. I did not. I can still hear the shots and I can still see you fall. I can hear your soft voice calling my name and I feel your body in my arms as I am carrying you. I can feel your hand on my thigh as I am trying to stop the bleeding. You were the one to be hurt, but I felt safe as long as you were joking.

I held you in my arms when I found you in time before Simon's wacko disciples tried to kill you. I never felt so relieved to feel your heart against mine, feeling the beat, the life in you.

I miss the sound of your voice, even when you're shouting like Dobey. I miss the sparkle in your eyes when some mischievous idea pops in. I miss the smell of beef burrito with onions, telling me you're around. I'll even miss the way you drive, Buddy! If I make it, I swear I'll not criticize your way of driving ever again. Look where it got me now. Can you hear me, Pal? Can you hear my thoughts, calling out to you?

I can hear you, Starsk. I can hear you calling my name. Don't you be sad. Don't worry about me. I'm taking the memory of you smile, your embrace, even your silly jokes.

I think I'm ready.

I can hear footsteps. Someone is holding me. I can feel the warmth of hands around my head. I can feel a breath so close to my face, with a slight smell of beef burrito with onions.

I can feel the arms again, guiding me to salvation. To rescue. You made it! Once more.

I open my eyes. You're there!

And I can finally hear your voice whispering to me. "Hey... we made it, Partner!"

**The End.**


End file.
